been a ::wild:: ride i wouldnt c h a n g e a m.i.n.u.t.e [entries|friends|calendar] M.Liz [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

for a little minute? [19 Apr 2009|12:20am] well this is gonna be short. but today was not whatever the hell yesterday was. work was actually sort of fun, i found some motivation to kick ass and throw it in mcs face because lets face it. I do kick ass. went tanning got a little burnt oh well they are like 10 minute dream vacations, tanning sessions im tired, sort of hungry (never goes away) and i have to work in the morning so i think maybe ill just go to sleep instead of analyzing my life tonight. Dont ever let life pass you by

cuzimmaMOTHERFUCKINGrenegade [17 Apr 2009|01:38am] So i read really far back and I concluded a couple things Im really fucking funny I wanna erase all the shit i ever wrote about eric because it grosses me out I generally am still the same person I still love concerts every summer Im still an ocd to do lister I still evaluate my life like a freak I still change jobs every 5 seconds and (in there somewhere) Im still a oocky bitch Dont ever let life pass you by

shot through the heart and youre too late [10 Feb 2008|03:49pm] so im on a trail to not HAVING nails. thats how bad ive bitten them off. i think i want new sheets. a really high thread count. maybe this is something i really cant live with. im starting to think that i really just cant get it out of my head. what do they call it? cognitive dissonance. Dont ever let life pass you by

im too tired to sleep [15 Jan 2008|01:36am] hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul that sings the tune without the words and never stops at all Dont ever let life pass you by

heres the progress [18 Oct 2007|10:50pm] (update) im fabulously in debt fantastically wardrobed I have another new job at bebe sport i think im a job-commitment-phobe. but it keeps my life spicy I spent the night at k babys. it was yummy. I cant sleep in anyone elses bed but my own and his. I love him. i have a helluva two weeks in front of me its proally gonna suck. but i have to make a lot of money (see above) I put my credit cards in an envelope, and gave them to my mother so im broke until i get less broke. which is okay because im being a poor college student. I drew a (bad) picture of a penguin in kevins sweetest day card its pretty awesome. everything about kevin is pretty awesome. I went to the new mall today with ED and then went to Maceroni grill. I got lots of sexy bebe-wear. I have to sell my ass off this weekend because i didnt have that money that i spent lol oh well, life is short right? cant take it to the grave. well you can take debt to the grave... sick. okay well anyways i gotta long day tommorwwwwwwwwwww dont be trying to perm us UP WE ALREADY STRAIGHT Dont ever let life pass you by

I shall call you squishy and you shall be mine [19 Aug 2007|11:17pm] well my tummy feels yucky my room is a mess (oh and my car is an extension of that mess) its raining tommorows monday and. surprisingly I feel pretty good... Just got home from Kevins. had dinner there, watched nemo and entourage for sure [[sunday night yo]] I quit fitness (mission accomplished) last day is august 31 this is what my week looks like Monday-work tuesday-OFF, hair appt. purse party date with jacqueline and victorias secret possibly tiki bobs appearance with courtney Wednesday-work Thursday-work, possibly date with sisters, and/or jourdan Friday-workkkk Saturday-did you say work? YOURE RIGHT. Sunday-TBA and then next week you ask? Mon-work tues-tba Wed-work thur-tba Fri-last day at fitness Sat-MARYS WEDDING Sun-NO WORK MONDAY LABOR DAY yeah im a big nerd. i plan everything shut up Dont ever let life pass you by

penguin kisses are the best kind [06 Aug 2007|11:16pm] im in my planning mood again. you know where i like rip my life apart and revamp it cuz im semi-addicted to completely altering my circumstances. ie. my job? yeah. it used to be just my hair color but its expanded to major life shifts every year well whatever on the 13th im putting in my two weeks at the gym had enough. and thats that start school on the 4th gonna plan a kickass vacay for me and kev. gonna join a sorority (i think) and i just like shopping for christmas presents and shopping in general. chya know? im going golfing with the female part of kevins family. yikes. i need to learn how to golf. PRONTO! Dont ever let life pass you by

ill be your bestfriend and youll be mine [03 Aug 2007|01:03am] wow. I havent been here in a long time. it happens like that sometimes but you know what? I always come back. Good things always work like that. I just finished this book, In her shoes. I read it even though I saw the movie first. I usually have a rule against that. however, I made an exception and it was a good thing. which brings me to the fact that Im writing this journal entry just to gush about Kevin. and how perfect he is and how its been a long time and I still feel like Im walking on water. and that he is it. i think im gonna quit my job at the gym. I will miss everyone so much there but its just like sucking the life out me lately I wanna be poor and go to college and idk be inna sorority maybe. I want to do my work and be a snob because I think im the smartest person in the room. Which im usually not. but when i get like that its usually cuz I did my work and im proud of the job I did. I want to feel like that again. I dont want to half ass things cuz I didnt make enough time to do them the right way. notice how i said 'make' and not 'have'. Anyways, im going to save money. and im going to buy fantastic christmas presents and im going to go on some kind of vacation. and im going to stop being so critical. of everyone. and im going to do lots of really fun things with kevin and even though Ive said all of these things before about a boy now when i say them the words light up. because I adore everything about him. im gonna go to bed now, or close to now. be back soon. Dont ever let life pass you by

and you tell me, how could it be any better than this? [26 Feb 2007|10:58pm] In the way your eyes glide over me I feel you. Thank you for acquainting me with this feeling. Love, I think you already do Need, Maybe that too Imprint me on you, we will see, now won't we? and I'm in love with you every inch of you. I like your wrists. and your back. I love the way you hold the back of my head when we kiss, and how your eyes get heavy. I like how you remember details, and surprise me. and how you call me baby. I like your pajamas. and I love how you sound when I rub your back. I like how your possesive of me, and make me feel beautiful. I love how you play around with me but are so brilliant at the same time. and how I feel safe no matter where we are. and I what I like most is that I could go on for days and be completely content with listing every detail. and how can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you.... Dont ever let life pass you by

[23 Jan 2007|04:49pm] so basically i just want to dance around and tell everyone that k is perfect. but. that isnt a good idea, cuz no one cares. (truth, not pessimism) so journal. you get the honor. last night after work I went to k's and we went in the hottub. which was fun for obvious reasons and then for the fact that ive never been in a hottub in the winter. then we watched you me and dupri :) and then today i totally blew off all of my classes. and then tonight....:) Dont ever let life pass you by

my own poetry slam [14 Jan 2007|12:24am] "dormant evil" He wakes up happy then the thoughts rush in and pull down the layers of feelings and show the truth he can barely tell you his name or the color of the sky but he can tell you the name of his favorite drink and who he will hit on next and thats his evil. he has a real personality but he can turn it off at the drop of a beer pong ball. and thats his evil.. He has flickers of realization but smothers it with a string of mishaps he calls fun and thats his evil "Backwards Ambition" this backwards ambition is thrilling sometimes chilling looking into my golden kohl-lined eyes wondering who's there I've never dreamed of a stare so hollow or a feeling of empty anger look around hold fast to everything thats uniquely you is it you? would you know? chaos around me but I create it need the noise because I'm scared of the volume of my silence. "Spider Web" Throw yourself at a boy throw your life away when's this madness gonna leave skidmarks? gonna show up in your mascara streaked eyes when your clawing at your pictures to remind you this is real all the way real and heres the kicker you DESIGNED it. "concrete" so two toned used-predicted I want to be the only one whos ever felt this I dont want to be another casualty on the list of I thought this was- but it isnt I love this pain It starts a search for the truth The grit and the surface of love's enduring magic My arrogance is blinding but yet it leads me in the direction everyone wants me to be going I want my instincts to be law and I want my game to work again. and at last my red shines through. "Warped Image" four are you proud write a poem read a book are you sure thats you who knew what is it your trying to prove? your thrashing hurting no one ultimately but the picture you painted in your head the colors are fading the lines are blurring you need to spend some time in the studio re creating your soul. "intellectual intoxication" Alcohol seeps warm and deep into decisions that make D.A.R.E. officers drop to their knees would you do what your doing in front of daddy? Be that girl that passaround girl that girl you always though was weak Come on, show them how easily you can wrap them around your finger and they'll wrap your brain around something you can't have its a game you can't win but your arrogance keeps you playing so come on, be that girl. No, don't be that girl. "Cracks in the drywall" Worry will it do you good? I could- let my mind idle rest on all the uncertainties invent some likely conspiracy.. But tell me whats the end result? can't control whats not my fault its scary to embrace and startling just to face the fact that knowing something isnt knowing where hes really going secrets are slippery things that trusting people miss so push the uncertainty aside and enjoy your ignorant bliss. Hit the pavement hard and listen to the decibel of this- the loudest worry in the world wont change who he's going to kiss. "Shades of Grey" Im not afraid of rejection a definite jab to the ego indecision is the culprit the slow wonder turns your nerves to lead while your imagination gets some excercise and you dont know what your fighting like evil in a dark room its shape concealed in the absence of light resolve is smothered stagnant helpless or are you? Volumeosity Dont know why you get me why you highlight the extremes in me dont know how you found the controls but could you turn them down no ones ever made me feel like this and thats no compliment first im angry with you and then that fades but the contempt I have for allowing my self to do this over and over again is intense and its not going anywhere and all for what sex? that oh that yeah thats my mistake for letting you in where you dont belong a place you haven't earned where theres no armor and your blue eyes pierce my resolve and I have no arguments Not fair Not fair how much it hurts cant bring myself to tell you to get out isnt it ironic how I anticipate when your lying through your teeth dont have to be selective because thats the only consistency you practice. Dont ever let life pass you by

and when your eyes well up like that, your beautiful [07 Jan 2007|11:24pm] stressed out. I havent really truly been stressed out not like this since maybe junior year. I'll be fine. crying helps. I have to be productive for the majority of the 24 hours that we call MONDAY. about 15 of them ill be on the clock, at work. and the rest ill be doing hw for my 8 hour day on Tuesday. Ill be fine. kev starts school on tuesday. so both our madness will entertwine. it should be interesting Dont ever let life pass you by

doesnt it sound familiar? [26 Dec 2006|10:45pm] its the day after christmas. I remember how this day used to feel. like a deflated balloon, all the excitement was over. I dont really get that feeling anymore. Actually instead, Im kind of looking forward to new years. and to using/wearing all my new stuff. this christmas was full of new things. smaller family, new boyfriend and just different people in my life in general. But you know what? It was just as good as its always been. maybe better kevin is amazing. and not in a cheesy junior high this is my first high kind of way. he just is. he was awesome with my family I didnt feel uncomfortable around his... it was actually pretty fun not like pulling teeth at all. he got my burberry brit for christmas and godiva and this really pretty scarf. he has incredible taste, yes? I made him a blanket with the happy feet penguins on it, some a&e pj pants and a gift card to blockbuster.(movienighttheme for sure) oh and a penguin stuffed animal. i got really good stuff from my family too. thoughtful, good stuff and jb made me a shirt because shes brilliant. im not in much of a writing mood just kinda wanted to um document that? hah dec.12 Dont ever let life pass you by

pasta bowls or baskets or WHATEVER [12 Dec 2006|03:31pm] its 1030 on my day off ask me why im up? well. Heres the thing, theres no reason why im up NOW. I was up 2 hours ago because I had drive emily to school TARDY. and then go to the bank. Now im just "lollygagging" whoever made that word up needs some umph in their life. "I dont want to be your friend" damn straight you dont. on that thought, I must start christmas shopping, and before I can do that I have to find some MONEY. right. and then I need to find something to WEAR because I have to attend CHRISTMAS his. oh shit. me and k hava car date today. when he wakes up i mean if he wakes up okay so back to sleep i go go go oh yeah, study for french sometime today brainiac GOT IT? good. Dont ever let life pass you by

to the left to the left, everything you own in a box to the left [12 Nov 2006|07:52pm] im overwhelmed so much school so much work 10-15 lineups AHHH havent seen kevin calling back issue feels like i should be pmsing but im not i need a tranquilizer or something man went to this stupid party last night made me feel wierd I was by myself knew I didnt wanna go went anyways cuz it was better than my house or so I had reasoned out >it turned out not to be Im crabby because i miss kevin' and lets face it im not prepared to miss ANYONE and because this weekend was a flop and because this week is going to be hell and because my family is a joke how about that? and those are only the reasons that matter stupid things that irritate me are present also but i will not waste my time going over them okay. Im going to go read and attempt to feel un neurotic hope kevin calls or get the fuck out of here. idk Dont ever let life pass you by

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